When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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