i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Panties = found
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
