i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
