I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
sex in a hospital.. check
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
