Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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