i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
