She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize