I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
