take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
