This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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