I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
