How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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