He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
