omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
