Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
