I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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