im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
