shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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