So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
