Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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