Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
