This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
