Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
