the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
