just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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