I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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