i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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