I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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