I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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