I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
