Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
