how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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