I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
