I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
