i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
