Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
