the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
