so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
