I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
