either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
