Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
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