her vagine was all disorganized.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
