I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
