8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
