If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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