yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
