she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
