Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My dick has a subreddit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
