Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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