Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
