Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
