what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
thus making me awesome and them whores
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
